caustic-ity

1. We do not understand the words “ching chong”.
2. Not everyone plays ping pong.
3. Not all Koreans make nuclear bombs or eat dogs.
4. Just cause you see an Asian person it doesn’t mean they’re Chinese, they could be Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Filipino etc. Not everyone comes from China.
5. We are not all communists.
6. Asian girls with long black hair HATE being called The Grudge or the girl from The Ring8. Same goes for Asian guys and being called Grudge boy.
7. We don’t use THAT much M.S.G.
8. Don’t ask us to speak our language, we will when we feel like it.
9. We don’t know how to translate your name so stop asking cause most likely we can’t.
10. Don’t ask us to teach you curse words either.
11. Stop trying to pair up Asian guys and girls at your school and say they look cute together. Not all Asians belong together.
12. All Asian countries speak different languages.
13. Just because we’re Asian it doesn’t mean that we know karate, kung fu, tae kwon do etc. Even though we are probably capable of kicking your butt anyway.
14. Don’t say all Asian people look the same, that’s like saying all white people look the same, all African Americans look the same and all Hispanics look the same.
15. Surprise! Not all Asians are good at maths.
16. Not all Asians are short.
17. Or skinny.
18. Just to let you know, it’s NOT funny when you tape your eyes up and start speaking gibberish. That just gives us another reason to kick your butt.
19. Go ahead, make fun of us. We’ll just make fun of you in our own language.
20. It’s ok for us to call each other F.O.B’s but if you call us one you’re asking for a beating.
21. Yeah we eat rice, and what?
22. Don’t fold your hands and bow at us like you know what you’re doing cause honestly you look like an idiot.
23. Don’t ask if the Chinese use cat in their food, if they did they would label it “cat chow mein” instead of chicken chow mein. They don’t use cat if you didn’t already guess that by now.
24. No…Yao Ming is not my uncle.
25. No, not every male Asian you see on the streets (or on the basketball court) is Jeremy Lin or his cousin. But i’m glad we have Jeremy Lin as a representative in the NBA that we can relate to.
26. Chopsticks are the perfect utensil and the easiest to wash.
27. People from India are Asians too.